What Addict Behavior Taught Me About Marketing
everything in our lives has a purpose
I grew up around lots of addict behavior. I don’t agree with labeling people as addicts because I don’t believe in giving people an identity based around one part of themselves, which is just overdoing.
I believe that there are parts of all of us that have tendencies for addiction, and sometimes those parts take an unhealthy level of control.
Anyways, I grew up in a house with lots of substance abuse.
I became very intimate with enabling, codependency, secrets, “walking on eggshells.” While it has taken me many years to unravel all of my own behaviors related to addiction, I was reflecting recently that these experiences taught me a lot about human psychology, which is the basis of marketing, in my opinion.
These are a few lessons I learned through these experiences, that I believe tie into marketing:
You cannot change anyone, including their opinions. I spent so many years wishing, praying, hoping that loved ones would stop using. I’d show them data about the risks, try to reason with them based on jail time and other legal ramifications, discuss the spiritual perspective, encourage therapy, drive them to rehab.
We cannot change another person. As much as you want them to like you or be a certain way, or act differently, it’s their life and they have agency over their decisions.
There is a lot of discussion about this in marketing: “We are going to change someone’s opinion about our product or service.”
No. You. Are. Not. And if this is the goal, I believe you automatically fail. Because it is not possible.
What you have control over is continuing to send your brand messaging out into the world so that when someone has what I call a “magical open moment,” you are top of mind.
I have noticed this in myself with certain brands. Maybe I have a pre-formed opinion or general lack of interest, and then one day, for whatever reason, the door to my mind is cracked open a little – that is a magical open moment. When I receive an email or see a social media post or see the product in a store on that day during the magical moment timeframe, that is when I try it or buy it.
The sweet spot to marketing is being there so that when people are open and ready to change their mind or opinion about you, you are front and center.
Resources appear where they are deeply desired. I witnessed loved ones, many times, who were basically living on the street and did not have any money, yet still able to find alcohol/drugs and/or the money to buy.
Now, they really needed food, but they desired substances more. They expected to receive substances. Resources don’t show up where they are needed, they show up where they are deeply desired.
Need begets more need, but desire is a magnet.
What can we learn from this? If you feel like your business is lacking resources to invest in marketing, my question for you is: Where do you deeply desire to add more resources?
I hear many businesses say things like “we don’t have a marketing budget” or “we don’t have money to spend on marketing.” I get that because marketing has become a huge beast of an industry that can feel overwhelming and outrageous.
But, it is needed in some form or fashion. Instead of feeling like you need to do all these different things, can you pick just one or two that feel desirable?
Maybe email doesn’t feel right, but Instagram does. Maybe print ads don’t light you up but creating a podcast does.
Tune into your business’ desires and the resources will appear. Cultivate confident expectation. Don’t just do what everyone says you “have” to do to market your product or service. Do what feels desirableto have done. The resources to do so will appear.
Obsessive customers are not ideal.
The flip side of obsession, or addiction, is disgust and sobriety. There’s a lot of discussion in marketing about creating “evangelical customers,” or die-hard fans. I’m not sure I agree with that.
You can’t have one side of the coin without the other.
Obsessive or addictive customers eventually hit a rock bottom and then cold-turkey stop buying your product/service. Even worse, they might become disgusted with it and communicate that negativity to others.
You think you want obsession.
What you actually desire is loyalty.
Loyalty in relationships is built on healthy attachment. Healthy attachment trusts that customers will return when they are ready. Healthy attachment believes that customers will reach out when they need assistance. Healthy attachment does not try to pressure, force, manipulate, or depend on.
Healthy attachment listens, trusts, nurtures, and loves.
I believe in building a loyal, healthy customer base.
The world is not kind to sensitive souls. People who struggle with excessive addict behavior are typically very sensitive, loving people who did not quite fit in or could not cope with the harshness of the world.
If you go to a business function and someone does not drink, don’t pressure. You don’t know their story. Maybe they just aren’t drinking that night, but maybe there’s more to it.
My final reminder is not related to marketing, except it probably is, because I hate pressure and painpoint marketing.
We don’t need to pressure someone to buy. We simply need to communicate the transformation, and if it is a good fit, the sale happens naturally.
Be kind. Everyone has a story, and you don’t know what it is. Even if you think you really know someone, I promise there is more to learn.
Be kind. Let people make their own decisions. Keep your side of the street clean. Do what feels right for you and your business.
As a side note, isn’t is fun to recognize how everything in your life - even the really hard sh*t - has been preparing you for your purpose today?
Xoxo 🤍